Be Less Dickish

the definitive self-help book about men

Be Less Dickish is a detailed and introspective look into the behavior of the aggressive asshole, the submissive pussy, the imitative douchebag and the victimized dick. David Coates and Corey Kilpack reveal how and why these men do what they do.

Be Less Dickish is for everyone. Understanding these archetypes gives insight into the men we know and into ourselves. The book follows four main characters through their calamity and their evolution. You will be with them in the wild as they trip, fall, then step up and go again. They break down, they confront the chaos of their lives in therapy, they fall apart, and they find their way.

Be Less Dickish provides a simple strategy for dealing with triggers in less extreme ways. The TRACE method described in the book transforms behaviors.

Brace yourself and beware. This book is raw. It is real. It is profound. This is an engaging, hilarious, confronting, and necessary exploration of our motivations and habits. We can all do better. We can be less dickish, and be less of an asshole, douchebag and pussy too.

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what readers and listeners are saying about

S Lucarelli

Completely changed my relationship with men.
I thought these guys hired a professional. I only realized at the end that it was narrated by Corey Kilpack, one of the authors. He is incredible, and kept me engaged the entire time. You could feel the emotion coming through him, his passion, his call for something better.

I cannot recommend this book highly enough. I want everyone I know to read this book. It is a real gem, a true original.

(reviewed at audible)

Will Van Sickle

This is a book I will continue to reference for years to come.
I've been involved in the personal development arena for more than 20 years. I've read countless books, attended hundreds of workshops, retreats, and seminars, and studied with iconic teachers. I even received my undergraduate degree from a Buddhist university. I wouldn't say I've come across everything, but I can confidently say I've seen most of what's out there. So when I say that I have literally never left an amazon review and that you absolutely must read this book, you can take me on my word. ... Very few books in this genre have anything half original to say, and even fewer communicate in a way that is even remotely entertaining. The authors layout a framework for the masculine psyche that is simple but profound. Then they bring it to life through actual stories from Coates' clinical therapeutic work. This is a book I will continue to reference for years to come and recommend to all my male friends (and their girlfriends).

Rick Smith

Practical, compelling and fun!
This book is a winner! It uses a series of vignettes to delightfully reveal the grooved patterns that keep men from their own happiness and aliveness. With just about every page, I was reminded of men I know, clients I have, and yes, who I see when I look in the mirror.

With a positive lens of innocence and wholeness, Coates and Kilpack lay out a road map for men (and women too) to face, welcome, and transform patterns of isolation and self-doubt into food for growth, connection, and joy.

A way towards connection.
We still live in a world where men can end up with some bad habits, in a walking wounded state. These dysfunctional behaviors highlight the enduring struggle with connection ... many men have. This book helps men see a way through their limitations, and into a truer relationship with themselves and others, maybe for the first time. With their bawdy good humor, the authors are completely relatable, not stuck in an office with a view. The authors truly partner with the reader, shedding light, chapter by chapter, laying the foundation for men to build healthier connections and bonds with those around them.

Brit Estep

Staying over your feet.
In rock climbing, it is important to stay over your feet; to not lean too much in any one direction; to be centered. In life, "[w]hen you're centered, you understand that sometimes making ... yourself the priority is ok, and sometimes it's important to make others the priority." This notion is at the center of this excellent, irreverent read.

As you may have noticed, the more we all live online, the more salient aggressive rage, status markers, shaming, and alienation seem to be. BLD offers a framework for checking all this. The book introduces characters I somehow already knew. Seeing their quotidian lives made it uncomfortably hard not to see elements of their worst impulses in my own everyday crap. The book is absolutely worth your time for this alone. You don’t smell your own crap when you look at yourself in the mirror. But you will smell it when you follow these characters home and to their therapist’s office.

The prescriptive elements of the book – TRACE – seem grounded in Buddhism and Stoic philosophy, so don’t let the acronyms and systemizing put you off. This is not some cockamamie new age seminar pitch or rando pop psychology. It is a mountain of wisdom, except with well placed f-bombs and hilarity. Even if the genre of self-help is not your usual cup of tea, this one is different and you should read it.

As my guru says, we are all just walking each other home. At times that means climbing big scary rocks. Be less dickish and stay over your feet. Do it for you and the people you love.

Ian Roberts

Fantastic Read!
Reading "Be Less Dickish" has given me new perspective to the different ways all men deal with stress, conflict, and loss. After reading and analyzing the 4 male archetypes I have been ... able to diagnose how I handle stress in my life. When I am drawn out of center I tend to be drawn towards being a "Pussy" this is especially true in relationships.

In all my previous relationships when conflict arises I tend to over agree and avoid conflict by capitulating and not offering my own opinion. Too often I find myself saying things like" whatever you want" or "I dont care"

I have begun to use David's tested and proven successful methods of staying towards center and learning to overcome my triggers.

THIS IS NOT YOUR TYPICAL SELF HELP BOOK!!

Be Less Dickish is raw and honest. It touches on the subjects in incredibly relatable and helpful ways. I have recommended this book to all my male AND female friends and family.

Give it a try. You wont regret it!!

Greer